What is adversity in dance training
Ok, I’m going to drop a potentially unpopular opinion here:
Adversity is actually really good for dance students.
Of course, no one likes adversity. No one wants to see a dancer place poorly at competition, fall out of their turns onstage, not get good audition results or move up to the next level, struggle with a difficult technique element, have dance friend drama, or any of the many other things that can cause frustration, disappointment, anger, and embarrassment in dance training. No one hopes for these things to happen, and I really want to believe that no one really feels good when they do.
But still, I maintain the viewpoint that – as painful as it can be in the moment – a little adversity: frustration, disappointment, anger, or even embarrassment, can be good for dance students in the long term. Dancers experience adversity in many ways in the dance studio, including feelings that they are not performing up to standard, interpersonal relationships with teachers and classmates, auditions that don’t go their way, boredom or feeling like they don’t want to master the basics before moving on, and frustration that results from difficulty mastering required skills
How adversity in dance training can be a good thing
When things don’t go our way, it can help us develop critical life skills and traits that are essential for our future success and happiness. We learn from the adversity we face in dance – and as just about any dancer can tell you, there is plenty of it to go around. But by dealing with that adversity head-on, we develop persistence, patience, acceptance, humility, empathy, and most importantly, resilience. These skills are crucial, because they help us to cope with big emotions like disappointment, frustration, uncertainty, and even anger. Children need to be able to cope with these feelings as they move into adulthood – and research indicates that the stresses of school, social, and world issues, combine with a lack of unstructured time, sleep, and time away from social media are taking a toll on teenagers in the United States. As the stresses of modern life mount, everyone who works with children – from parents to dance teachers – need to do their part to ensure that they have the coping abilities needed to handle it.
Note that this blog post refers specifically to simple forms of adversity that dancers experience as part of their training, such as losing and audition or not performing to standard at competition. Students who have experienced trauma, those from marginalized communities, those in lower socioeconomic status groups, and those suspected of having more significant mental health issues should receive specialized care and treatment beyond what is mentioned in this blog post.
Having strong coping skills can ultimately help children and teens manage stress, reduce, anxiety and increase satisfaction with their life circumstances. If they don’t experience adversity when we are young, they won’t have the opportunity to develop those skills, and will have a harder time dealing with the challenges that come with adult life and independence.
Why dancers must be allowed to experience adversity
From my discussions with other educators and what I’ve read on dance, education, and parenting websites, I’ve realized a disturbing trend: kids are not being allowed to experience adversity. Parents, and even at times teachers, coaches, and administrators, are becoming too quick to step in and intervene when kids are facing adversity. Think helicopter or snowplow parenting methods, but know that sometimes, other adults (including dance teachers) end up using some of these techniques to protect kids from negative experiences. We see these tactics happen in the dance studio in different ways:
Dance parents step in and try to negotiate audition results or class placements, they intervene in every bit of friend drama, they refuse to let their child accept responsibility for negative behaviors, and they take over “boring” but important tasks that dancers should learn how to do, like sewing point shoes. Dance teachers, at times, lower expectations for dancers, don’t enforce rules for fear of parental retribution or losing students, or insist that poor results are the result of systemic issues, not their team’s performance – “That competition is biased against small studios,” for example. These tendencies can result in a culture of blame that negatively impacts dancers: blame the teachers for behavioral issues, blame the other kid for starting it, blame the judges for low scores …
Listen … I get it. As a mom, and a dance teacher, I want to protect my children and my students from bad experiences. I don’t want their self-esteem to be squashed. I don’t want to see them struggle. I don’t want to see them question whether dance (or other favorite experiences) are right for them. I hate when they are sad. Sometimes, I’m tempted to step in and make life easier for them. But I try to remember that, while intervening might make things better for now, in the long run, it will not help them. My “kids,” whether they are part of my family or part of my studio, need to experience boredom, frustration, and disappointment at times so that they learn how to cope with those feelings now – when the stakes are relatively low and I am here to support and encourage them. I cannot – nor should I – solve their problems for them. In this blog post, dance parents will find way to help their children deal with adversity in dance training. (It’s a good read for teachers and coaches, too!)
Of course, there are times when intervention is absolutely necessary – in cases of suspected abuse or severe mistreatment, for example, or when you suspect a child has mental, emotional, or cognitive issues that might affect how they experience adversity. There are also times when your dancer does have a “bad” teacher, or when the competition is “biased,” or the audition results really were “unfair.” Dance parents and teachers need to use their best judgement … not always an easy feat!
Life skills that dancers develop by facing adverse situations
When dance students face adversity and rise above it, great things can happen. They learn to adjust, adapt, and act to overcome challenges. Through this process, they become resilient. According to Paula Davis of Forbes Magazine, “Resilience is a person’s ability to bounce back from adversity and grow from the challenge, and research now shows that past adversity can help you persevere in the face of current stress.” This means that when dance students face adversity in their dance training, they can be better prepared to handle challenging situations and circumstances as adults. Resiliency even may help protect dancers from certain mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety, according to The Mayo Clinic.
Facing adversity can also help students shift their perspective, as they develop patience and persistence through the experience. Students who go through difficult situations can learn that, with time and maybe a little bit of work, most things will get better. They see that their current struggles are temporary, and that they are, in fact, stronger than those circumstances. Eventually, they will develop self-efficacy, or belief in their ability to succeed no matter what circumstances they find themselves in. With this belief and the understanding that time can heal and work most wounds, they will be better able to deal with negative emotions and find more satisfaction in their life.
Moreover, when dance students go through difficult situations, they can become more aware of and sensitive to others’ struggles. They can develop empathy in the process. Empathy is a vital quality that will help dance students manage their current relationships and become better collaborators, leaders, and citizens in the future. (For more tips on helping to foster empathy in your students, check out this blog post!)
How parents and dance teachers can respond when dancers experience adversity
As a parent and a dance teacher, I know how hard it is to see our kids experiencing adversity in dance. Things like like scoring poorly at competition, not getting the role they want, or not liking their teachers can make our dancers feel bad – which, in turn, makes us feel bad too. It can be tempting to try to jump in to fix the problem for them, to assign blame to others for the circumstances as a coping tool, or to distract your dancer from the situation rather than letting them feel the pain of it.
But truly, I think that these are the worst things that you can do when you dancer is facing adversity. They may temporarily fix the problem or quell the big feelings, but they will do no good over time – in fact, they may actually do harm. As hard as it can be, let your dancer experience adversity when it comes. Then, you can help them deal with these experiences, and teach them how to do so with persistence, patience, and resilience. This is one of the most important ways that we can prepare our kids for the future, and yet another example of how the lessons learned through dance apply to all areas of a child’s life.
It’s worth repeating: there are times and situations where you have to step in and take action to ensure your dancers’ safety. If you suspect any sort of abuse or mistreatment, or you think that your dancer may be struggling with a mental health issue, you must act. And of course, it’s always important to support, nurture, and care for your child, especially during difficult times! In this blog post, you’ll find ways to help your dancer through periods of adversity and help them to cope with difficult and disappointing situations.
Read more
- How Parents Can Help Their Kids Deal With Adversity in Dance
- 8 Invaluable Life Skills Students Learn Through Dance
- 5 Vital Social-Emotional Skills Learned Through Dance – And How to Teach Them!
- What I *Really* Teach as a Dance Educator
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